I want to begin sharing and telling stories of real mothers; thoughts, stories, feelings.

I started a group for mothers on facebook just last week, a safe space inviting vulnerability without judgement or shame (click here to join).

One of our discussions was about the things we don’t talk about regarding the postpartum experience; everything from sleep deprivation to breastfeeding troubles, to the first postpartum poop.

A good friend of mine shared her experience newly postpartum, and talked about something I don’t think we talk enough about; when you don’t initially fall head over heels in love with your baby at first sight.

Now, I’ve photographed this mama and her babe since he was in her belly. This mama always knew she wanted to be a mother, always longed for it. When she first told me she was pregnant, I literally jumped for joy because I was SO happy for her; maybe a little bit happier than most people are!

Two years later we are reminiscing about the new postpartum experience, all the while capturing snuggly, beautiful, authentic loving moments between her and her son.

These are her words (shared with her permission of course) with beautiful images of the love she and her son share, as he approaches his two year birthday. A story of the first time she fell in love with him, even if it wasn’t initially.

“I had a good friend tell me before I gave birth that it’s ok if you don’t immediately fall in love with your baby when you first look at them. Society makes you think it’s the best thing in the world, and that you will fall immediately in love the moment you see them. She told me, "yeah you grew him, but you are just meeting him. It’s ok to not fall in love like you are “supposed” to." She said "you will love him, I promise, but it’s weird at first. There is a lot to take in, and it’s chaos when you hold him in your arms". I didn’t get to hold him right away after his birth, everything was all so crazy. While I was glad to have him on me, I was terrified! I do remember the first time my heart fell for him. He was in his swing and I was sitting down on the ground talking to him, he looked at me and gave me the biggest grin; I instantly melted. I didn’t fall insanely in love with my son at first sight, but I eventually did. Now that he is almost two, I’m still unsure everyday what the heck I am doing, but we are all still here laughing and crying together.”